Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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