Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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