FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
