I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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