she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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