Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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