As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
His nipple licking is glorious
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