I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
