The maid of honor just puked.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
