She is in my trunk
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
