i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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