I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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