did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
