Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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