oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i drank out of a bidet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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