and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Dick very happy bro
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
