walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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