I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
