high people should be assigned attendants
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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