I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
