Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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