I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
