Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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