I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
