i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
