I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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