i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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