Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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