I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im holly from the hills drunk
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
