you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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