hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
