So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
