Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
