The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
