he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
