I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
