It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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