your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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