well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
