If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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