shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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