my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
