I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
