i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
