Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
