felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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