I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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