dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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