btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
