So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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