first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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