Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
