Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he thought i was a dude.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
