Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
